it's gonna be a v long post ba.. but who would read...? :D
that day we're talking abt the bobo thing, ue know how happy i was ma..
but it's like once in a blue moon...
Every single time....
i really don't know what's going through my mind...
it's really frustrating....
though when i'm out with my friends..
i can be a lil distracted but then... i can't deny the fact that my whole mind is going crazy over ue..
a sec frm ue meant tears...
but...just a simple msg frm ue..
im like a fool smiling... mad eh?
yea... madly in love with ue... dumb...
but when im alone, i cant take it anymore...
i just wna cry....
but i cant... hais...
how i wish ue would be by my side like how ue did last time...
pei wo du guo these obstacles... but it's impossible ba?
i'm crying now, u know ma...
i really need ue, u know ma....
im jealous, ue know ma...
u're hanging out w/ ppl i dislike, ue know ma...
im afraid of losing ue, ue know ma....
im dying deep within, but what can i do.,...7 more days....
isn't sweet at all...
bibi, ue know why ma....
it's really bitter.... really sour.... really hurtful too
im not satisfied with my dam toot life now... getting sick...that's enough.....
without u by my side... that's worst? i hate the feeling of eating vinegar...
that day, my friend ask me how am i getting on with my boy... i hesistated veri long before saying a yes...
that's not the me... they gave me a love survey... guess what's the result...
what ue thot was urs... wasn't urs... holding tightly to it wont bring ue happiness...
at tht v moment, i just break down in tears... idk wht to say or do...
i had told no one abt this but yea...
for the past few days...been crying myself to sleep...in my cold....dark corner....
the same old nightmare just wont stop haunting me... i really hope it won't turn into reality...
im scared, really scared.... but what can i do....? tell ue... & ue'll say sry aqn....
which is the very last word i wna hear from ue?...
maybe ue didnt realise ba...
ur "sorry" is being repeated more than "iloveyou"...
what does this mean....?
though i wna turn back time,
i know the past can never be returned but remembered...
im feeling more & more like an abandoned junk again....
can we really make it through together....?
don't bother to care for my feelings ba or cheer me up ba...
afterall, friends are more important & the best... one day, u'll know that...
or ue alr knew tht...? ue're complaining ur friends are less...
either im too sensitive or u're too oblivious ba... idk...
unlike me... even have friends also can't help...
afterall im just a loner... a stranger....
yst i just feel so dejected, & dui ni fa pi qi...pls 4give me....
idk y... i jsut got this strong sense tht im gonna lose ue soon...
ue said can we dun quarrel....
ue know how lost i felt... when ue said tht... coming to think of it...
we're almost quarreling evday in the past... but at least... it's better than now...
though i hate quarreling..but.. now i miss it...
though we quarreled.. but we got closer didnt we...
but now....? we don't even have a chance to talk....
feels like being thrown into antartica to freeze for a million years...
yesterday was being asked...
"if given a choice again, would ue love him or urself or choose some other guys?"
guess what's my reply? if i can have a choice... i'll still choose to know ue & love ue...
but... please rip off my heart...& keep it in the safety box... so that this love'll really nbr end...
Babyboy bibi :
ur bebe may be sha hu hu de...
hurtful toos.... maybe emo ?
but all she knows is she loves ue...
but she's getting more & more jealous...
even she herself don't know why...
please forgive her hao ma...
though u're not by her side, but her love for ue will foreva stand by....
past, present & future... it'll foreva' stay...
but she really wnat ur security....
but she don't know how...
she wna be loved by ue one again...
can we be close once again & stay loving ma...?
i really wna create lovediary with you & only you....
can i be part of ur family....?
forget it ba... im crapping again.... & there goes crybaby toos [:
crybaby gainign sympathy?hahas....
im jealous... really jealous...but what can i do....?
im not as barbaric as my friends where... they demand their bfs to
cever all ties w/ female friends... idw ue to be sad aqn...like last time...
like ii said too... ue dont solely belong to me toos... i wont expect ue to do tht toos..
jealousy kills but what can i do....? i hate it to the core....
forget it ba
though im alr going to be 17 & also known for being the over-matured 17...
but when it comes to love affairs..im a total noob... a baby....
so why do ue still wna bother to make me smile....?
im not a good girlfriend neither a good wife...
im not a good girlfriend neither a good wife...
im not a good girlfriend neither a good wife...
no mood to type anymore le luh................................................
i cryy anot, also dont care luh.... pathetic, bitchy creature...
just cause of my baby mind....
hate me to the core ba...
- shasha still loves guagua
-bebe still loves bibi
- xigua still loves donggua
- dear still loves dear
- laopo still loves laogong
- levon still loves leon
she wrote @
4:20 PM